Choosing Joy

During difficult times in life it can be hard to hear people say…”Choose joy.”. When I was living in the depths of despair during my divorce and rebuilding I wanted so much to understand what that meant exactly. How could I “choose joy” when my heart was broken and every cell of my body wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep my life away?

I was told, “practice gratitude”. So I did, and it worked. So simple, and so effective. Every day I wrote down 3-5 things for which I was grateful. And quickly, I noticed the shift. The ability to find goodness and gratitude in the smallest aspects of life. This was Choosing Joy.

A melancholy walk noticing and lingering over the beauty of a flower. Joy.

Sitting in sadness on my couch, but noticing how nice the sun through the window felt on my skin. Joy.

Spending time with friends who gave me space to feel sad, but who also managed to help me laugh. Joy.

A hot bath on a cold winter day. Joy.

This is what choosing joy looks like. It’s allowing yourself to hold two opposing emotions at the same time. It’s letting a moment of positivity, in whatever form, take over for even just a moment. It’s making the effort to see beauty in the world even in the midst of despair…and even if for just a moment. Over time and with consistent practice the fleeting moments become longer moments and the practice becomes habitual and integrated.

Life throws us a lot of curve balls. It’s the experience of being human. Allow yourself to be with the weight of your experiences while also letting a little light shine in where it can…that’s choosing joy.